I woke up the other morning around 4am feeling nauseous, shaky, and sick. It is now the evening and I have taken three hot baths, thrown up twice, and not gone to the bathroom once. I feel miserable. My mom, room mates, and I decided a priesthood blessing would be the best thing. I have faith that I will be able to sleep through the night like I was promised. I'm thankful for worthy men who hold the priesthood and can give these types of blessings.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Life is peculiar. Especially when it comes to dating. Many songs, plays, poems, art, musicals, and so much more have been created to express the many emotions that are involved with dating. Tonight I experienced the part of dating that is not glorified. I went through a break up.
First a little history...
Keith (names have been changed to protect the innocent) and I met in Sep/Oct of 2010. We were in the same ward and same FHE group. We went on a date in the middle of the semester and started to seriously date in the middle of December. After the Christmas break it was the beginning of a new semester. We were still dating, but we both weren't sure if it was the right thing to do. Because we were both wavering we decided it would be best to end the relationship. However, that didn't last too long. He invited me to go down to his place, in Utah, for his grandparents annivarsary. I said I would go. Once we came back from the trip and after a few talks we decided to get back together. YAY! Well, don't get your hopes up. Feb 26th rolled around and once again he wasn't too sure this was the right thing. He would be going away for the Summer to do sales and he didn't want to hurt me in a month when he left. Everyone was shocked when he ended it. So, you would think that I would have been smart and never talked to Keith again, right? One would think, but no. He and I still occasionally saw each other. Mostly at his sisters house. She and I have become very good friends. So after some times passed Keith started asking out to things. Bowling, guitars unplugged, music outlet, country dancing and other things around campus. (this boy was confusing the heck out of me at the time) His sister asked him what the heck he was doing because no one knew what he was thinking, especially me. SO after he and I talked and went on a double date we decided to give it another try. I know what you're thinking "REALLY?! Again? Three times? Goodness gracias." Things were GREAT though. Better than they had ever been before. I was happy and I loved being around him. He was easy to talk to, we gave each other a hard time, and he was a hard worker which I always liked about him. As the last few weeks of the semester went on my feelings began to grow and I REALLY liked him.
So that's the history. On to the break up. He graduated this semester and went to California for a week afterwards. I missed him a lot when he was gone, and was so excited that I would get to see him Thursday when he got back. Well he showed up at my door and things were like they were when he left. Having a good time, talking laughing, etc... but then we started talking about this summer and what we planned to do. The original plan was to keep in contact and see where things go. But that is not what he wanted anymore. While he was in California he was hopping that he would miss me a little more than he did. He told me he didn't want me to waist a summer of dating and fun if he was luke warm about the idea of me and him. I understood where he was coming from. It still hurts though. So we kindly said our good-byes, wished each other the best in life, and went on our ways.
So why am I thankful for break ups? Because they are a time to reflect. What worked for you in that relationship, what could you have done better, are you a better person after being with them, did they bring out the best in you, was that person someone you could have settled down with. Things like that. But the one thing I love about break ups is that they are a new start. I'm going to miss Keith very much, but at the same time I am going to meet other people. I could have easily been very happy with Keith. I'm thankful I know him and that I was lucky enough to get to date him. He is a great man who will make someone very happy one day. In the meantime I get to start fresh. It's a new semester which means new classes, new room mates, new ward, and best of all it's SUMMER TIME.
I'm ready for my fresh start.